![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
♦ Cape Kore Application
[Player information]
Player Name: Flurry
Age: 21
E-mail: flurry.tan@gmail.com
Other characters played at Cape Kore:
[Character information]
Name: Jesse Finch
Canon: Original Character
Canon Point: Post-novel
Age: 26
Appearance:
He looks like Frank Iero, but there's some differences!
Jesse is about 5'9, 159 pounds, decently fit and a bit stocky. He's got short black, shaggy hair and brown eyes, and his arms, chest, stomach, back and hands are covered in tattoos. They're all important in some way, those tattoos; he doesn't have all the ones Frank Iero has, but he does have swallow birds on his stomach, guns on his lower back, his hands done and two whole sleeves with adjustments from Frank's, not faces but things that would make more sense as far as where Jesse comes from. Tattoos are like memories or reminders for him, just art at other times.
He generally dresses himself casually, half because he's lazy and half because it just looks good. T-shirts and jeans, plus hoodies and the occasional beanie -- his clothing usually has rips and tears and smell like cigarette smoke, but they're never dirty or slobby, just worn. He doesn't buy himself clothes very often.
Inventory:
- (1) pack of cigarettes
- (1) flask full of whiskey
- (1) lighter
- (1) wallet with ID, credit cards, and twenty dollars in cash
- (1) inhaler
Abilities:
Jesse is very skilled with technology. Give him a few hours with any sort of electronic and he'll be able to take it apart, upgrade it, and put it back together again, for the most part. Through his juvinile deliquency years, he was taught how to take apart and repair guns, build bombs, hotwire cars, get his way into systems that required a passcode - and how to basically work with tech in general.
He has some basic fighting skills - basic street-learned hand to hand combat, as well as some more formal take-downs.
History:
Jesse was born to Mister and Missus Finch in 1986, in the middle of California. His mother died in childbirth, and left Jesse's father, Samuel, alone to raise his son. Samuel was broken up over losing his wife, and though he never said it, he blamed Jesse for her death. Still, he kept Jesse, and though he was distant and threw himself into his work, he was never a terrible father. He wasn't a particularly affectionate or good one either, and Jesse grew up in the care of a nanny for most of the first five years of his life. Jesse doesn't remember her very well, but she had a big part in making him who he was as a child, respectful and meek. She was also the one who took him to the hospital more than half the time, when his health problems started to crop up when he turned four. His father was largely absent, but he did sit with his son through the extensive tests -- though he didn't stay long after the doctors said that Jesse wouldn't die from the illness. Jesse spent most of the fourth year of his life in a hospital.
He went to school like everybody else, though, once the doctors had finally settled on a medication, and for the most part his life was normal. His father was never around, and Jesse most often had to fend for himself in the hours that he was home alone. He learned how to cook his own dinner, do his own laundry, do his own dishes, things like that, fairly young. Occasionally he'd work himself too hard and his lungs would act up -- he'd be stuck in bed for a few days -- but that was something he got used to. He was just the chronically sick kid in school, and it stayed that way his whole life.
In middle school, however, Jesse got into something a little less normal. Through the years, Jesse's relationship was rocky with his father, and while Jesse desperately craved his father's approval, he also hated being ordered around and ignored. Years and years of being on his own left Jesse feeling neglected and lonely, and to combat that, he started getting into trouble. It started with not doing his homework (not like dad was around to make him do it anyway), then progressed to disrupting class, making fun of and being rude to teachers, bullying his classmates -- and none of it stopped there. Getting in trouble got him attention from his father, and earned him a few beatings as well, though those stopped the second that Jesse started to fight back. And when he stopped getting reactions, he had to push harder. He started with graffiti on the walls of the school. He met a few friends through this, too, people that were definitely not good for him, not quite gangs but groups of nasty, terrible kids. They broke into places and stole things, sold expensive jewelery they'd gotten for money for games and movies -- and eventually, they got caught.
When Jesse's father found out, he was furious. Not because Jesse was a bad kid, but because Jesse was making him look bad in front of his company. Immediately Jesse was pulled out of public school and dropped right into an all-boys reformation boarding school, where he was severely disciplined for even the small things, like not making his bed right. People who know Jesse now see the results of this school -- Jesse's anal about having everything in the right place and clean. His apartment's spotless.
But even though he was where he was, he still got into trouble. He was just sneakier about it. Here, he met his current best friend, Jonathan, who was only just a buddy to smoke cigarettes with on the roof through his teens. As he got into his mid-teens, he started to experiment with his sexuality, and seeing that it was an all boys school... well, he didn't have many choices. Jesse figured out that he didn't really care what gender he was flirting with, as long as they flirted back, and went through several friends-with-benefits and pushed as hard as he could at some of the more attractive teachers in the school, male and female. This, he was more careful with. He never allowed his father to find out about this part of him, fearing he'd be kicked out or murdered quietly and dropped in a river somewhere.
While he was at this school, he took a few art classes. These ended up being his favorite classes to attend; he never skipped, and found that art could be his stress reliever when casual sex wasn't exactly on the table. It helped. He wasn't good enough to get any scholarships, but he didn't care; it was for him and him only.
Graduation came and went. Jesse tried college, and immediately hated it. He dropped out two semesters in, to his father's great displeasure. Floundering, Jesse had no idea what to do next -- his father offered no suggestions, no opportunities for his dropout son, and so Jesse moved out. For about two years, Jesse lived in a shitty, rat-infested apartment and worked nights at the nearby Walmart. He walked to work, had just enough to buy food and pay rent, and spent as much time as he possibly could at work, trying to earn enough to get by. It only got worse when he was invited to a party by one of his neighbors - this was where Jesse first got into drugs.
The rush was fantastic. Everything that Jesse was worried about, stressed about - it all went away. He could do whatever he wanted, he felt like. His best work came out when he was high, his paintings were so much better, his sketches fresher, or at least, that's what he believed. And when the ecstasy wasn't enough, he started into something harder. Heroin brought new lows, awful, fucked up people and strings of nights that Jesse couldn't remember. Fortunately, his stint with heroin didn't last long, because that was when Jonathan stepped in.
They'd stayed friends after school, but Jonathan had noticed the slow decline in Jesse's... self. It was Jonathan that dragged Jesse out of his shithole of an apartment, took him back to his place, and made him dry out. He got Jesse through withdrawals, took him to the hospital when he needed it, got him clean, and made him start drawing again. Jonathan's friend Felix got Jesse a job at a nearby club as a stagehand. Things slowly, slowly got better, and Jesse will never, in his entire life, forget what Jonathan did for him. He hasn't touched any sort of drug since, though his cigarette addiction is still strong and going. It's still a struggle, and his health bounces around sometimes because of the combination of things he's put his already fragile body through, but he tries his best to keep himself healthy.
Three years passed. Jesse fell in and out of love, was hospitalized once for his lungs, moved in with Jonathan, Felix and Jonathan's brother David, saved enough money to get his own place, got promoted. It was around this time that a particularly famous band, The Counter Curse, rolled through Jesse's city in search of a new roadie. Jesse fit the job description perfectly, and, eager to get the fuck out of the city he was born in, he applied. And Jesse got the job.
Through the next year, Jesse made a good amount of friends, got a hell of a lot of new experiences, and found a close friend in Galen Howard, the lead singer of the band. Galen was sweet, good, and fiercely determined, and Jesse was throughly enamored just a few months in. By the end of the year, they finally broke down and confessed how they really felt about each other, and quietly began to date. Jesse was never happier.
But then Galen started acting weird. His usual good outlook was replaced by something darker, angrier, and he wanted to sleep, constantly. He would wake from nightmares that made him physically sick, and while Jesse tried his best to take care of Galen, it only got worse. The rest of Galen's band noticed as well, but it wasn't until Galen told them what he could do that they were thoroughly concerned.
It turned out that Galen could enter people's dreams. He had been for months, and he was doing awful things to the people he found, giving them debilitating nightmares. Jesse warned Galen to stay out of his head, but Galen didn't, and eventually, after fucking with too many dreams, Galen slipped into a coma. Together, Jesse and the rest of the Counter Curse (Brad, Daphne and Terri), though intensely worried, decided that they needed to defend themselves from a potential attack. And it turned out to be a good thing that they did; the singer wormed his way into the dreams of the band, as well as Jesse's, and tormented them, but through the use of lucid dreaming and turning the dream back on Galen, they managed to escape. In the end, the nightmare infection that had been so vital in influencing Galen's hand ws defeated by the last good part of Galen left, and in the hospital, Galen woke up.
However, Jesse's trust in Galen was shattered. Galen had invaded Jesse's head, used his nightmares against him, used his father against him. From the point Jesse is taken from, he's visited the mental hospital that Galen was admitted to after waking from the coma, but he didn't talk to Galen, just Galen's dad - and their relationship is rocky. Jesse's life is rocky, and once or twice he's considered heading back to California.
But he hasn't. Not yet.
Personality:
Jesse Finch is most often a contradiction, and it can make him hard to be around; he's impulsive, quick to anger and violence. He doesn't like being told no. He doesn't like feeling inferior or weak in any way, and when he does, he lashes out. He's intense in how he feels, everything from jealous, possessive and controlling to loving, kind and gentle.
It's hard for him to admit personal things. Love is a big one -- he doesn't say it freely. He will admit that he likes a person, sure, that maybe eventually he trusts them, but love is a completely different story. The words won't come unless he absolutely, 100% means it. And even when he knows that he loves someone and cares deeply for them, it's still hard to say -- the words get stuck in his throat. He's just not good at expressing himself verbally, and it makes him feel stupid to even try, or to admit emotions that might make him appear weak, which is why he prefers being close, showing that affection through holding hands or wrists or hugging or even just leaning on people. He's definitely big on physical affection, as well as using personalized nicknames for people he likes. If he calls you baby, babe, or anything similar, it might not be because he's flirting with you (though that would not be unheard of) -- he's just not aware of personal space.
While he is protective of his past and of where he came from, he isn't afraid to make friends. He is generally laid back as far as casual aquaintances go. He'll talk to people and make fast friends, or at least, not completely antagonize them, and he attaches pretty easily to people as well, something that he's constantly told not to do by his crew. He's always wary about people, always thinks there could be a dagger in his back at the slightest turn, but it doesn't change the fact that he loves people. He loves listening to people, which works out in his favor - people are always more willing to talk about themselves in his experience, which means more time learning things about others and less time having to tell people about himself. He prefers giving people his surface persona.
But despite his general love for people, there are always exceptions. There's always those types for everybody, the ones that just press his buttons, trigger angry responses. There's plenty that can make him angry and there's plenty that will get him to say something about it. He's stubborn and entirely confident that what he thinks is best, and is the correct answer. And he doesn't like being told he's wrong -- he'll argue to the last breath. On top of that, Jesse has an excellent memory and an inability to let things go. He can and will hold grudges forever. He has no problem with revenge if the person did him serious enough harm. He believes that people have to earn his trust, and while he won't go out of his way to be a jerk to someone and will freely admit that he likes a person, that has no relation to how much trust he's putting into them. This also applies to grudges and first impressions; while he won't seek to antagonize people for saying things he doesn't agree with, he'll store the information away for later, just in case he needs to use it against them. Jealousy is a real issue with him as well; it doesn't take much to make him jealous, and he refuses to deal with it like an adult when he is. Instead he gets quiet, angry, resentful, until someone finally asks him what the fuck is wrong with him. His replies are usually just a level under hostile.
Along with that inability to let things go, Jesse has a fierce need to be in control. Not necessarily the boss of anything, or the leader, just in control of himself and the situation. His tech knowledge is a good example of this; tech is his way of gaining control because it makes sense. He can build something from scratch and have a say in everything that the end product will be. He can take things apart and figure out how they work. It's comforting, and his determination and focus leaks into his affinity for all tech-based things.
However, taking him out of his element, putting him in a new situation, fucks up his nerves something awful. Not knowing what's going on in a situation sets him on edge. Combine that with his strong undercurrent fear of failure and you've got yourself a paranoid mess of a former junkie. That undercurrent is kept that as hidden as possible, and on the occasions that he does mess up or fail completely, he doesn't speak a word of it. If someone is there to witness it and they keep bringing it up, he'll most likely lose his temper; he doesn't like to be reminded that he has the capability to be weak.
He loves art of any kind, from drawing to tagging to even just telling stories. And his own personal favorite part of art is evident on his skin: his tattoos. His tattoos are his stories; they all have significant meaning to him in one way or another. They're the only part of him that isn't secret - they're bared for everybody to see, if anybody can make sense of them.
He isn't a very religious person, not in the conventional way. He's not really even sure he believes in God at all. Or anything. He doesn't scoff at people who find comfort in it, he just. Doesn't think about it. He's too involved in himself, really, to think about anything higher; he is very much a here and now person, don't think about tomorrow, just keep running. Art is his personal faith, art is his contrast to his control. It's his "fuck this, fuck you" to the world. It's what he does when he hurts too intensely. His feelings come out all over his work. And when he doesn't have that outlet, when he can't use art (or even his tech strategy) he can get destructive. Sometimes on outside forces, but mostly in on himself -- too much and he'll attach to something to make it go away. Jesse has an addictive personality and it never ends up working out well for him; alcohol, drugs, abusive relationships (not necessarily romantic ones), fighting, anything self-destructive -- he can very easily run himself into a rut because he isn't good at getting his emotions out in words.
Sometimes his self-destruction just needs to happen and he snaps himself out of it (usually after a good fist fight or two), but other times, when he doesn't have the people to support him, he falls into a ditch he can't pull himself back out of without help. But, as long as he has something to hold onto, he can recover and pull himself back.
[Samples]
First Person:
example - if this doesn't work, I can definitely do something else. c:
Third Person:
Jesse's fidgeting like crazy, and he knows Galen's noticed. ANd Galen probably knows that Jesse's nervous, and trying not to show it, too, the observant bastard. It's harder than it looks to not just get up and run away, but Jesse promised. And he doesn't break promises. Most of the time.
This might be the one he does, though, and he fidgets, adjusts his hoodie, his jeans (these don't have holes in them! Look how nice he got dressed for this!) and compulsively smooths down his hair. It's just. He knows how close Galen and his dad are, and it's such a foreign concept, and -- he doesn't want to fuck it up. He's not good at not fucking things up, and this is seriously the most important thing that's happened to Jesse in years. Jesse has to make a good impression. So he makes sure his hair looks fine and that his clothes are clean and tries to smile, using every single tactic he'd learned in high school to sit still. Galen looks at him, half worried and half amused, and Jesse makes an effort to make a face at him in response. Laughing, Galen looks away, and Jesse settles back down in his chair to wait.
When Nathan shows up, Jesse almost pukes. But he doesn't! What he does do is sort of freeze up for a second, staring at Nathan, and then he visibly shakes himself and reaches across the table to shake Nathan's hand. He shakes firmly, like his father used to tell him to, and then pulls his hand back and shifts slightly. It's not just one thing that's making him nervous. Galen has told him several times that Nathan doesn't care that Jesse's a guy, or that he has tattoos, or that he came from a less than savory background.
And Jesse can tell that Nathan isn't that sort of guy, just based on the way he presents himself, but... neither does Jesse's father. Actors are -- well. Good at acting.
"It's nice t'meet you," Jesse says firmly, taking a deep breath. Forget about your dad, Jesse tells himself. It'll be fine.
Anything Else?
Jesse’s always had problems with his health. He has crappy lungs and a shitty immune system, which means he gets sick constantly. He's got his instructions and medications he takes occasionally to help, but he’s much more susceptible to colds etc and, occasionally, much more sinister illnesses. He also has issues with bad air quality and running for extended periods of time; almost like asthma.
Player Name: Flurry
Age: 21
E-mail: flurry.tan@gmail.com
Other characters played at Cape Kore:
[Character information]
Name: Jesse Finch
Canon: Original Character
Canon Point: Post-novel
Age: 26
Appearance:
He looks like Frank Iero, but there's some differences!
Jesse is about 5'9, 159 pounds, decently fit and a bit stocky. He's got short black, shaggy hair and brown eyes, and his arms, chest, stomach, back and hands are covered in tattoos. They're all important in some way, those tattoos; he doesn't have all the ones Frank Iero has, but he does have swallow birds on his stomach, guns on his lower back, his hands done and two whole sleeves with adjustments from Frank's, not faces but things that would make more sense as far as where Jesse comes from. Tattoos are like memories or reminders for him, just art at other times.
He generally dresses himself casually, half because he's lazy and half because it just looks good. T-shirts and jeans, plus hoodies and the occasional beanie -- his clothing usually has rips and tears and smell like cigarette smoke, but they're never dirty or slobby, just worn. He doesn't buy himself clothes very often.
Inventory:
- (1) pack of cigarettes
- (1) flask full of whiskey
- (1) lighter
- (1) wallet with ID, credit cards, and twenty dollars in cash
- (1) inhaler
Abilities:
Jesse is very skilled with technology. Give him a few hours with any sort of electronic and he'll be able to take it apart, upgrade it, and put it back together again, for the most part. Through his juvinile deliquency years, he was taught how to take apart and repair guns, build bombs, hotwire cars, get his way into systems that required a passcode - and how to basically work with tech in general.
He has some basic fighting skills - basic street-learned hand to hand combat, as well as some more formal take-downs.
History:
Jesse was born to Mister and Missus Finch in 1986, in the middle of California. His mother died in childbirth, and left Jesse's father, Samuel, alone to raise his son. Samuel was broken up over losing his wife, and though he never said it, he blamed Jesse for her death. Still, he kept Jesse, and though he was distant and threw himself into his work, he was never a terrible father. He wasn't a particularly affectionate or good one either, and Jesse grew up in the care of a nanny for most of the first five years of his life. Jesse doesn't remember her very well, but she had a big part in making him who he was as a child, respectful and meek. She was also the one who took him to the hospital more than half the time, when his health problems started to crop up when he turned four. His father was largely absent, but he did sit with his son through the extensive tests -- though he didn't stay long after the doctors said that Jesse wouldn't die from the illness. Jesse spent most of the fourth year of his life in a hospital.
He went to school like everybody else, though, once the doctors had finally settled on a medication, and for the most part his life was normal. His father was never around, and Jesse most often had to fend for himself in the hours that he was home alone. He learned how to cook his own dinner, do his own laundry, do his own dishes, things like that, fairly young. Occasionally he'd work himself too hard and his lungs would act up -- he'd be stuck in bed for a few days -- but that was something he got used to. He was just the chronically sick kid in school, and it stayed that way his whole life.
In middle school, however, Jesse got into something a little less normal. Through the years, Jesse's relationship was rocky with his father, and while Jesse desperately craved his father's approval, he also hated being ordered around and ignored. Years and years of being on his own left Jesse feeling neglected and lonely, and to combat that, he started getting into trouble. It started with not doing his homework (not like dad was around to make him do it anyway), then progressed to disrupting class, making fun of and being rude to teachers, bullying his classmates -- and none of it stopped there. Getting in trouble got him attention from his father, and earned him a few beatings as well, though those stopped the second that Jesse started to fight back. And when he stopped getting reactions, he had to push harder. He started with graffiti on the walls of the school. He met a few friends through this, too, people that were definitely not good for him, not quite gangs but groups of nasty, terrible kids. They broke into places and stole things, sold expensive jewelery they'd gotten for money for games and movies -- and eventually, they got caught.
When Jesse's father found out, he was furious. Not because Jesse was a bad kid, but because Jesse was making him look bad in front of his company. Immediately Jesse was pulled out of public school and dropped right into an all-boys reformation boarding school, where he was severely disciplined for even the small things, like not making his bed right. People who know Jesse now see the results of this school -- Jesse's anal about having everything in the right place and clean. His apartment's spotless.
But even though he was where he was, he still got into trouble. He was just sneakier about it. Here, he met his current best friend, Jonathan, who was only just a buddy to smoke cigarettes with on the roof through his teens. As he got into his mid-teens, he started to experiment with his sexuality, and seeing that it was an all boys school... well, he didn't have many choices. Jesse figured out that he didn't really care what gender he was flirting with, as long as they flirted back, and went through several friends-with-benefits and pushed as hard as he could at some of the more attractive teachers in the school, male and female. This, he was more careful with. He never allowed his father to find out about this part of him, fearing he'd be kicked out or murdered quietly and dropped in a river somewhere.
While he was at this school, he took a few art classes. These ended up being his favorite classes to attend; he never skipped, and found that art could be his stress reliever when casual sex wasn't exactly on the table. It helped. He wasn't good enough to get any scholarships, but he didn't care; it was for him and him only.
Graduation came and went. Jesse tried college, and immediately hated it. He dropped out two semesters in, to his father's great displeasure. Floundering, Jesse had no idea what to do next -- his father offered no suggestions, no opportunities for his dropout son, and so Jesse moved out. For about two years, Jesse lived in a shitty, rat-infested apartment and worked nights at the nearby Walmart. He walked to work, had just enough to buy food and pay rent, and spent as much time as he possibly could at work, trying to earn enough to get by. It only got worse when he was invited to a party by one of his neighbors - this was where Jesse first got into drugs.
The rush was fantastic. Everything that Jesse was worried about, stressed about - it all went away. He could do whatever he wanted, he felt like. His best work came out when he was high, his paintings were so much better, his sketches fresher, or at least, that's what he believed. And when the ecstasy wasn't enough, he started into something harder. Heroin brought new lows, awful, fucked up people and strings of nights that Jesse couldn't remember. Fortunately, his stint with heroin didn't last long, because that was when Jonathan stepped in.
They'd stayed friends after school, but Jonathan had noticed the slow decline in Jesse's... self. It was Jonathan that dragged Jesse out of his shithole of an apartment, took him back to his place, and made him dry out. He got Jesse through withdrawals, took him to the hospital when he needed it, got him clean, and made him start drawing again. Jonathan's friend Felix got Jesse a job at a nearby club as a stagehand. Things slowly, slowly got better, and Jesse will never, in his entire life, forget what Jonathan did for him. He hasn't touched any sort of drug since, though his cigarette addiction is still strong and going. It's still a struggle, and his health bounces around sometimes because of the combination of things he's put his already fragile body through, but he tries his best to keep himself healthy.
Three years passed. Jesse fell in and out of love, was hospitalized once for his lungs, moved in with Jonathan, Felix and Jonathan's brother David, saved enough money to get his own place, got promoted. It was around this time that a particularly famous band, The Counter Curse, rolled through Jesse's city in search of a new roadie. Jesse fit the job description perfectly, and, eager to get the fuck out of the city he was born in, he applied. And Jesse got the job.
Through the next year, Jesse made a good amount of friends, got a hell of a lot of new experiences, and found a close friend in Galen Howard, the lead singer of the band. Galen was sweet, good, and fiercely determined, and Jesse was throughly enamored just a few months in. By the end of the year, they finally broke down and confessed how they really felt about each other, and quietly began to date. Jesse was never happier.
But then Galen started acting weird. His usual good outlook was replaced by something darker, angrier, and he wanted to sleep, constantly. He would wake from nightmares that made him physically sick, and while Jesse tried his best to take care of Galen, it only got worse. The rest of Galen's band noticed as well, but it wasn't until Galen told them what he could do that they were thoroughly concerned.
It turned out that Galen could enter people's dreams. He had been for months, and he was doing awful things to the people he found, giving them debilitating nightmares. Jesse warned Galen to stay out of his head, but Galen didn't, and eventually, after fucking with too many dreams, Galen slipped into a coma. Together, Jesse and the rest of the Counter Curse (Brad, Daphne and Terri), though intensely worried, decided that they needed to defend themselves from a potential attack. And it turned out to be a good thing that they did; the singer wormed his way into the dreams of the band, as well as Jesse's, and tormented them, but through the use of lucid dreaming and turning the dream back on Galen, they managed to escape. In the end, the nightmare infection that had been so vital in influencing Galen's hand ws defeated by the last good part of Galen left, and in the hospital, Galen woke up.
However, Jesse's trust in Galen was shattered. Galen had invaded Jesse's head, used his nightmares against him, used his father against him. From the point Jesse is taken from, he's visited the mental hospital that Galen was admitted to after waking from the coma, but he didn't talk to Galen, just Galen's dad - and their relationship is rocky. Jesse's life is rocky, and once or twice he's considered heading back to California.
But he hasn't. Not yet.
Personality:
Jesse Finch is most often a contradiction, and it can make him hard to be around; he's impulsive, quick to anger and violence. He doesn't like being told no. He doesn't like feeling inferior or weak in any way, and when he does, he lashes out. He's intense in how he feels, everything from jealous, possessive and controlling to loving, kind and gentle.
It's hard for him to admit personal things. Love is a big one -- he doesn't say it freely. He will admit that he likes a person, sure, that maybe eventually he trusts them, but love is a completely different story. The words won't come unless he absolutely, 100% means it. And even when he knows that he loves someone and cares deeply for them, it's still hard to say -- the words get stuck in his throat. He's just not good at expressing himself verbally, and it makes him feel stupid to even try, or to admit emotions that might make him appear weak, which is why he prefers being close, showing that affection through holding hands or wrists or hugging or even just leaning on people. He's definitely big on physical affection, as well as using personalized nicknames for people he likes. If he calls you baby, babe, or anything similar, it might not be because he's flirting with you (though that would not be unheard of) -- he's just not aware of personal space.
While he is protective of his past and of where he came from, he isn't afraid to make friends. He is generally laid back as far as casual aquaintances go. He'll talk to people and make fast friends, or at least, not completely antagonize them, and he attaches pretty easily to people as well, something that he's constantly told not to do by his crew. He's always wary about people, always thinks there could be a dagger in his back at the slightest turn, but it doesn't change the fact that he loves people. He loves listening to people, which works out in his favor - people are always more willing to talk about themselves in his experience, which means more time learning things about others and less time having to tell people about himself. He prefers giving people his surface persona.
But despite his general love for people, there are always exceptions. There's always those types for everybody, the ones that just press his buttons, trigger angry responses. There's plenty that can make him angry and there's plenty that will get him to say something about it. He's stubborn and entirely confident that what he thinks is best, and is the correct answer. And he doesn't like being told he's wrong -- he'll argue to the last breath. On top of that, Jesse has an excellent memory and an inability to let things go. He can and will hold grudges forever. He has no problem with revenge if the person did him serious enough harm. He believes that people have to earn his trust, and while he won't go out of his way to be a jerk to someone and will freely admit that he likes a person, that has no relation to how much trust he's putting into them. This also applies to grudges and first impressions; while he won't seek to antagonize people for saying things he doesn't agree with, he'll store the information away for later, just in case he needs to use it against them. Jealousy is a real issue with him as well; it doesn't take much to make him jealous, and he refuses to deal with it like an adult when he is. Instead he gets quiet, angry, resentful, until someone finally asks him what the fuck is wrong with him. His replies are usually just a level under hostile.
Along with that inability to let things go, Jesse has a fierce need to be in control. Not necessarily the boss of anything, or the leader, just in control of himself and the situation. His tech knowledge is a good example of this; tech is his way of gaining control because it makes sense. He can build something from scratch and have a say in everything that the end product will be. He can take things apart and figure out how they work. It's comforting, and his determination and focus leaks into his affinity for all tech-based things.
However, taking him out of his element, putting him in a new situation, fucks up his nerves something awful. Not knowing what's going on in a situation sets him on edge. Combine that with his strong undercurrent fear of failure and you've got yourself a paranoid mess of a former junkie. That undercurrent is kept that as hidden as possible, and on the occasions that he does mess up or fail completely, he doesn't speak a word of it. If someone is there to witness it and they keep bringing it up, he'll most likely lose his temper; he doesn't like to be reminded that he has the capability to be weak.
He loves art of any kind, from drawing to tagging to even just telling stories. And his own personal favorite part of art is evident on his skin: his tattoos. His tattoos are his stories; they all have significant meaning to him in one way or another. They're the only part of him that isn't secret - they're bared for everybody to see, if anybody can make sense of them.
He isn't a very religious person, not in the conventional way. He's not really even sure he believes in God at all. Or anything. He doesn't scoff at people who find comfort in it, he just. Doesn't think about it. He's too involved in himself, really, to think about anything higher; he is very much a here and now person, don't think about tomorrow, just keep running. Art is his personal faith, art is his contrast to his control. It's his "fuck this, fuck you" to the world. It's what he does when he hurts too intensely. His feelings come out all over his work. And when he doesn't have that outlet, when he can't use art (or even his tech strategy) he can get destructive. Sometimes on outside forces, but mostly in on himself -- too much and he'll attach to something to make it go away. Jesse has an addictive personality and it never ends up working out well for him; alcohol, drugs, abusive relationships (not necessarily romantic ones), fighting, anything self-destructive -- he can very easily run himself into a rut because he isn't good at getting his emotions out in words.
Sometimes his self-destruction just needs to happen and he snaps himself out of it (usually after a good fist fight or two), but other times, when he doesn't have the people to support him, he falls into a ditch he can't pull himself back out of without help. But, as long as he has something to hold onto, he can recover and pull himself back.
[Samples]
First Person:
example - if this doesn't work, I can definitely do something else. c:
Third Person:
Jesse's fidgeting like crazy, and he knows Galen's noticed. ANd Galen probably knows that Jesse's nervous, and trying not to show it, too, the observant bastard. It's harder than it looks to not just get up and run away, but Jesse promised. And he doesn't break promises. Most of the time.
This might be the one he does, though, and he fidgets, adjusts his hoodie, his jeans (these don't have holes in them! Look how nice he got dressed for this!) and compulsively smooths down his hair. It's just. He knows how close Galen and his dad are, and it's such a foreign concept, and -- he doesn't want to fuck it up. He's not good at not fucking things up, and this is seriously the most important thing that's happened to Jesse in years. Jesse has to make a good impression. So he makes sure his hair looks fine and that his clothes are clean and tries to smile, using every single tactic he'd learned in high school to sit still. Galen looks at him, half worried and half amused, and Jesse makes an effort to make a face at him in response. Laughing, Galen looks away, and Jesse settles back down in his chair to wait.
When Nathan shows up, Jesse almost pukes. But he doesn't! What he does do is sort of freeze up for a second, staring at Nathan, and then he visibly shakes himself and reaches across the table to shake Nathan's hand. He shakes firmly, like his father used to tell him to, and then pulls his hand back and shifts slightly. It's not just one thing that's making him nervous. Galen has told him several times that Nathan doesn't care that Jesse's a guy, or that he has tattoos, or that he came from a less than savory background.
And Jesse can tell that Nathan isn't that sort of guy, just based on the way he presents himself, but... neither does Jesse's father. Actors are -- well. Good at acting.
"It's nice t'meet you," Jesse says firmly, taking a deep breath. Forget about your dad, Jesse tells himself. It'll be fine.
Anything Else?
Jesse’s always had problems with his health. He has crappy lungs and a shitty immune system, which means he gets sick constantly. He's got his instructions and medications he takes occasionally to help, but he’s much more susceptible to colds etc and, occasionally, much more sinister illnesses. He also has issues with bad air quality and running for extended periods of time; almost like asthma.